Define "chronic" masturbator.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My vagina is officially offended.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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