Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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