She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
