In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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