Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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