Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
