i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
