first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I feel great
I just peed on a car
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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