Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
