There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
