last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
