we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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