What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Blood and glitter go together right?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
