my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
