How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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