What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
