After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
