toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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