You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
