she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
