she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
