She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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