I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
