I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
