a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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