Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
