Don't you send me to vm
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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