don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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