SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
