Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You can't just leave with hair like that
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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