You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
