actually, I'm a sock model
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
