well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
