I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
