Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The feeling are messing with the penis
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
tell me about the eggs
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
