I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
