i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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