he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
