She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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