You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
