Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
