last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
