remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize