But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
