what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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