I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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