i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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