Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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