After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
