dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
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