My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize