How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
