That's when you crack a 10am beer
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
