me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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