I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
even my farts smell like vagina
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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