Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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