Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
