We're facebook friends in real life
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
