Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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