Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize