don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
