We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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